Summertime.

by jordanfaeh

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It’s a bad sign that you haven’t used your blog for a while when you actually forget the web address! Oh boy. If my blog was an actual room, I would imagine myself opening the door to a dark space, covered in cobwebs with sheets on the furniture. It’s been too long, and I’m hoping to breathe a little life back into this.

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I can’t tell you how many nights in the past few months that I’ve told myself “okay, after I put the girls down I am going. to. blog.” I’ve written so many blog posts in my head while I’m scrubbing dishes or folding laundry or scrubbing girls with soap suds. And then they’re all asleep, and I’m exhausted and I crawl up on the couch and watch “just one more” episode of Game of Thrones with my husband. I’m happy to report that after a long and trying winter and newborn season, we no longer feel like we’re drowning (ha!). Seriously, though. Having a newborn is precious in many ways, but it also makes you feel like you’re constantly in survival mode. It may be all rainbows and daisies for some, but for us it felt like we were swimming upstream for quite a while and even though we don’t have it all figured out, it feels nice to at least be floating along with the current. Okay, no more parenting analogies, I promise.

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Besides the fact that taking care of three little ones has taken up all of my physical and mental energy, I think I’ve kept my distance from this online space because I have felt some unease towards it. The last eight months have been some of the hardest of my young adult life but I also feel like I’ve grown the most and that has caused me to really question what my intentions and visions are for this blog. I’ve always loved to encourage and inspire others. Even before the days of constant facebook interaction, I used to text nightly inspirational quotes to all of my friends. I love to share the current circumstances I face and openly work through how they are sanctifying me. When I fall in love with a new song, I want the whole world to fall in love with it, too. When God stirs something up in my heart, I want to tell everyone. I like when other people can share in my joy and I think that’s why I’ve always been drawn to blogging.

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The road block that I’m constantly approaching is “how do I have an online presence as a christian?” Although many blogs (and social media outlets) are inspirational and encouraging to me, they’re also one click away from crossing over into comparison, jealously, and this sense of entitlement that “I deserve what she has”. I’m not an expert in anything and what I have to say has probably been said better by someone else. However, I firmly believe that God can use anyone as a voice for Him and it is my deepest prayer that first and foremost He is glorified through my words. How is God glorified through a post about fashion? I honestly don’t know. I’m being completely candid about my confusion. I’m certain that He gave me these passions and gifts for a reason and I’m hoping that, over time, it will become more clear what I should do with them.

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If you follow along on my blog, thank you. There’s a lot of noise on the internet (sometimes I feel like I contribute to it) and I feel honored that you choose to read the words that I’ve carefully placed here. If you have any insight on being a christian and also being a part of the social media world, I’d love to hear your input and experience!

We have been thoroughly enjoying this season. I feel alive in the summer. Waking up to warm weather and eating my breakfast on the porch, sun-kissed skin after a day at the pool, sticky mouths from melted popsicles. These are the things that feed my soul and I’m trying to soak up every moment. Today, we packed a picnic and spent the afternoon under the trees at a local park. I was preparing for it to be a disaster (because #kids) and it turned out to be one of my favorite days of summer so far.

I’m looking forward to jumping back into more consistent posting and I thank you for journeying along with me.

Here’s to you, summer. You just freakin’ rock.

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